When You Don’t Know What To Do

Here I am.

It’s a new week and a new blog post.

What am I supposed to write about?

Nothing has caught my attention during my bible reading and study time.

I haven’t really heard anything while listening to the online sermons I frequent or during times of soaking in worship music.

Hummm…..

Some weeks, once I finish a post, I know exactly what the next writing will be. The Lord will lay several things on my heart at a time, and I can plan them out.

Other times, I will look back through my many journal writings and see if something grabs my attention and pulls me in that direction to expand upon and compose a teaching.

Then, there have been a handful of times where I’m just sitting here staring at the computer screen, totally blank, and somewhere in the back of my head I can hear the old AOL internet dial up connection blasting, while I wait for some tiny bit of Holy Spirit inspired creativity to download.

“We’re sorry, but the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please try your call again.”

That is this week.

Blank nothingness.

And that made me think.

What do we do, when we are traveling on the road of our faith journey, and we come to an impasse and we don’t know what to do? We ask, but we aren’t hearing anything? We search deeply in the scriptures, but the silence speaks louder. A sense of mindless wondering can become very disorienting quickly, and this can lead to poor choices.

My wise and wonderful husband has said several times throughout our marriage, “When I don’t know what to do next, I just keeping doing the last thing I heard the Lord tell me to do, until I hear differently.”

Such great words of knowledge, but not always easy. Often, we can sense the promptings of change, before we know exactly what it looks like or where we are to go. It’s a restless stirring within us, like the soil of our heart is being tilled and prepared for new seed.

At this point, we begin to ask questions of the Lord- at least I do.

-Where would you have me venture?

-Who will be going with me?

-Do I need to practice an old skill or learn a new one?

-How long before I need to take my first steps?

-Will this be a long stay or a short event?

Then, I wait.

And I ask some more.

Maybe He didn’t hear me the first time?

Silence.

Is this thing on?

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and in my opinion, the taste is sour. I lack patience most days, and although I have gotten somewhat better at waiting over the years, I still have much to learn.

God will take us down numerous paths throughout our walk with Him. Sometimes we can see clearly over the next hill and have no worries or fears. Most often; however, there will remain a dense fog that settles over the land, making it hard to see the next steps in front of us.

As a planner, such as myself, this can be pain staking. I like to know the details. Give me a breakdown, outline or a good spreadsheet- I’m your girl. But, let’s say you’re not the type of person whose biggest highlight of a new year is to get a fresh planner (speaking for a friend… *cough), and you fly by the seat of your pants in spontaneous bliss. There will still be many times throughout your life, you too, desire to have foreknowledge of what is to come in the days, weeks or months ahead.

The Lord operates in very different ways, however. His plans will normally not be on our timeline. His vision, more times than not, will seem incredibly blurry to us, and the thought of, “I don’t know what to do”, will flood our brain.

Here is where the patience part kicks in and the words of my husband should run through our minds.

Keep doing the last thing the Lord told you.

Abraham, of the Old Testament, struggled in this area. Some of you may be familiar with his story. Sarah, his wife, was barren, and could not have children, but God promised them a son. This seed of his flesh would be much more than just an offspring; this child would be the inauguration of a mighty nation. A people group by which all men would be blessed and saved, because this lineage would bring forth the Messiah.

But, Abraham and his wife had to wait. That was their assignment. God actually told them the plan, He just didn’t say when it was going to be executed. Time has a way of causing us to forget details, which allow us to fill in our own gaps, resulting in poor decisions. It harkens back to the Garden of Eden- “Did God really say?” (Genesis 3:1)

Sarah decides they must have misunderstood the proclamation and immediately takes a sharp, left hand turn. As most of you are aware, this resulted in a serious crash and burn. (If you are not acquainted with this story, read Genesis chapter 12 to chapter 25)

Just like Abraham and Sarah, our mind can plan tricks on us. We may know what the assignment is, but we are still waiting on the final date and time to initiate the program. Days may pass into weeks, months or even years, and we conclude we must have missed something along the way.

“No worries! I’ll just veer off on this side street, because I am sure it will take me where God told me I was going. I’m confident I missed a turn somewhere a few blocks back, so this will get me on the right path.” Next thing we know, we are waiting for AAA to come pull us out of a ditch.

Or, if we don’t know what to do next, because we feel restless, but haven’t been given direction, we’ll start to grab onto any, little sign we come across and force it into our plans, regardless if that is what the Lord would have us do or not.

Here is where we need to pause.

Both scenarios have us feeling anxious, and anxiety will always lead us down a dark, back alley somewhere, hopelessly lost. We must fight against the feeling and thought that silence or the unknown, is a scary position we need to move away from quickly. Those quick, impulsive decisions, is what will send us right over a cliff.

Perhaps the next time you are struggling to figure out what your spiritual steps need to be, you just continue down the same path you are currently on, while you ask God- “Do I turn now?” “What about that sign up ahead? Is that for me?”

I promise, He will let you know. His will and plans for you are perfect, and He will make sure you do everything you are meant to fulfill while you are on this globe. Trust His timing. Keep peace stored away in your heart, and when the anxiety and doubt try to rise up, shove it back down. God has not left you, nor will He ever leave you to wonder the desert alone, or forever.

Well, I guess I figured out what to say after all. It’s funny how it works sometimes, but He is faithful to help us with every assignment, large or tiny. I know He told me to start writing years ago, so I will just keep doing this thing, until He tells me to shut the engine off and get out of the ride.

Father, help me, on the days it feels like I’ve been cruisin’ down the same, dusty path for an eternity, waiting for my exit to come, to stay the course and remain patient. May I fight the restless desire to roll down the windows, turn up the radio, sing at the top of my lungs so I can block out Your voice and take control of the wheel. May that be the prayer of us all.