Friend or Acquaintance
It is a great tool to be able to connect with old friends, stay in touch with loved ones who live far away or even meet new people. It has also created a culture; however, where individuals feel like they are known, and know others, because they have 2,876 “friends” on their account. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a difference between a true “friend” and an “acquaintance”.
Friend (noun)
a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection
Acquaintance (noun)
a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend
In order to be true friends with someone, there has to be a deeper level of knowledge about that person, then just surface. Large amounts of time spent with one another, talking and sharing details about your lives, is a good indication if you have reached the friend zone. If you cannot name someone’s personal preferences, their immediate family dynamics and other more intimate information about them, then you can place them in the acquaintance box.
Watching Facebook reels about a person’s life, reading numerous posts and throwing some comments out there periodically, does not constitute a genuine relationship. It takes time to develop a meaningful connection with someone. We need to be able to ask questions in an effort to gain insight into how this other human sitting across from us thinks, behaves and feels about certain topics.
Friends make an effort to learn about one another, which then causes feelings to develop, moving us to take care of one another. I am not speaking in a romantic sense at all, but merely in a way that when you think about the other person, there is deep regard, which moves you to act in a way that clearly states- “I have a bond with this person and I want to make every effort to love them in a way that expresses our connection.”
This same concept can be applied to our relationship with Jesus. There are many who believe they are friends with Christ because they go to church on Sunday and occasionally read their bibles, but there is no real relationship. Jesus talks about this in some of the most chilling verses in all of scripture (in my opinion).
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” (Matthew 7:21-23)
As you can see, the people who Jesus is speaking with are obviously those who attend church, are active and involved, and yet Christ does not know them at all. How can this be?
Jesus is not a friend to them, merely an acquaintance. He addresses this issue again, in the parable of the Ten Virgins. Look at what He says when the bridegroom at last comes and the door is shut for the wedding feast, leaving the five foolish virgins outside.
“Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us.’ But He answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’” (Matthew 25:11-12)
Our religious rituals can be so superficial and surface level, we never grow in the knowledge of Christ Jesus. We stay so busy doing all these “churchy” things, we forget to stop and sit at His feet to learn and develop a deeper understanding. We think we “know” Jesus, but we really don’t. Again, our Savior addresses this in John chapter 10. Hear His words proclaim what it means to know His voice.
“‘To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers. I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own and my own know me.’” (John 10:3-5, 14)
To chase after the Good Shepherd, we are to deny ourselves, take up our cross daily and follow Him. (Luke 9:23) This means we don’t always get to do what we want to do. Maybe we will have to travel to some really hard places, and if we do, we must walk in obedience to the will of the Lord. Remember in our verse earlier, where Jesus tells us only those who do the will of the Father will enter heaven? But what is the will of God? How can we know?
Read the scriptures. Study the Word to understand the heart of our Creator. In the pages of our bible, we are given clear instructions as to how we are to conduct our lives, lead our families and care for others.
Pray. Speak to the Lord. Daily. Hourly.
Ask Him questions. Have you ever done that? Inquired of the Lord things you would like to know and understand? If not, I highly recommend you start. Allow the Holy Spirit to teach you from the Word. If you don’t understand a passage, ask for clarification. He may direct you to commentary, a sermon series, or seek the counsel of your pastor- there are multiple resources to tap into, that will grow your understanding of Who Jesus is.
The more we spend time with the Lord, the more we act, talk and think like Him. This should be the goal of every believer. In the book of Revelation, Jesus says “He stands at the door and knocks”. We have to open the door and let Him in.
Sometimes, because of past trauma, we can unknowingly only allow access to certain areas of our lives. The Good Shepherd desires to have full access to all compartments. He wants to heal you and restore you. Something also happens during those times of restoration. You begin to know and understand, on a deeper level, the person of Jesus.
Have your walked through a very difficult experience with someone? What tends to happen? That hard situation grows you closer to one another, because you rely on each other to help get through. You share feelings of fear and doubt, and a new level of trust is earned, as you realize the other individual is there to look out for you, assist you and keep you safe.
The same is true with our relationship with God. When we allow Him full access to our hearts, and He begins to have us work through our past pain, we actually grow closer to Him. We discover He can be trusted. He brings comfort, guidance, stability- and any other thing we need, to safely exit the opposite side of the dark valley. He knows you, because He formed you, but you also begin to know Him on a much deeper, real level.
Job understood this better than most. After losing his children, wealth, mental wellness and physical health; he discovered God in a whole new light and gained a rich knowledge and relationship.
“Then Job answered the Lord and said: ‘I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore, I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear and I will speak.’ I will question you, and you make it known to me. I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now, my eye sees you.’” (Job 42:1-5)
This is a friendship. This is the type of understanding we need, so we are not stuck outside the closed door of the wedding hall, banging and begging to be let in, only to hear- “Depart, I never knew you.”
I pray you have a desire to see Jesus, not just hear about Him. That a new passion to discover all you can about the Almighty, will drive you to draw closer to Him in all areas of your life. The friendship He offers, comes with the bonus of eternal life. I think that is definitely worth your time and effort to grow from merely an acquaintance into a beautiful, lifelong friendship!