All My Gratitude
The sun peaked over the trees and nudged me awake. Warm, golden shades of color laid softly over my floor and bed, paint a lovely greeting and hardy Good morning! The day beckons and longs to draw me into another adventure. I have the option to roll over and ignore the invitation, or throw the covers back with great gusto and a loud Carpe Diem! Perhaps, I can just get by with something slightly in-between? Either way…
Thank You for another opportunity to share Your gospel, Lord.
Teeth brushed, workout clothes on and tennis shoes tied tight, I head out the door for fresh air and exercise. The coolness of the morning breeze on my skin moves from chilly to refreshing the longer I walk, as my pace remains steady and sure. On my upward descend, my leg muscles begin to argue with me and protest further movement. Nope! Keep moving, I think. I know what is best for you.
Thank You God that I am able to remain active and mobile.
With a cool shower down, I dress and get ready for my work day. My laptop stares at me waiting for its first list of instructions. Well, here we go again. Hectic waves rise and fall throughout the hours, causing me to fight the battle of mental motion sickness. Phone calls, meetings, emails, frustrated coworkers, grumpy bosses; the pace is relentless and shows little empathy or regard for my stress level. Tasks must be completed, for there are deadlines looming on the horizon.
Thank You Jesus for providing for my family with this job.
The clock winds down and strikes the hour of freedom from the business tasks, but I am still bound by what seems to be an endless list of chores. I grab the kiddos from school, rush to the store to pick up a few items, the gas tank thinks it needs a long, expensive drink and then we finally land at the house with just enough time to scrape together something halfway nutritious before it’s out the door again. Soccer practice in one direction and ballet in the other, the hamster wheel of life never slowing. Darkness envelops our home by the time we return and it’s rubber duckies, toothpaste, pjs and bedtime debates before finally crashing into the sheets.
Oh God, thank you for my precious family.
The ringing sounds as if it’s coming from a far away place I just cannot seem to reach. As the fog slowly lifts, I realize I am back in my bed, my phone urgently demanding to be answered. “Hello?” I reply, spoken in a half confused, half asleep tone. The voice on the other end is distraught and desperate and their words chill me to the bone in an instant. Unimaginable pain immediately pierces my heart and I want to deny everything I was just told. Screaming, crying, shaking- it all just runs together.
Why God? How could You let this happen? There is nothing good in this!
Silence- and then a Peace that goes beyond any human understanding walks into the room and covers over me.
I will never leave you, nor forsake you.
All I can do is barely shake my head in agreement… and that is enough.
In the dark night of my soul, I do not have to pretend strength I do not possess, forbid tears to fall or stand rock solid on ground that is disappearing like quicksand beneath me.
All I need to do is acknowledge His faithfulness. No words, for they have faltered in this moment. Hands wrapped around my chest in an effort to relieve the agony, are not raised to the sky. I can barely lift my head from the floor, but I nod my yes.
And He receives my gratitude.